Commitment

Commitment, everything is about commitment.

When I was walking home from the Mansion (Pancho, Edith and Jenny's Place) i just started to thing about this word. Commitment.

As rare as can sound this, I just started to think on English. Thinking what commitment means for me. What is implied, what is about.

Every thing we do, affect others. Every action we made, had it's effect on every other human being. Every thing moves us is about commitment. But what does this mean?

The first work I had right before I left college, was a job with no real salary. I received the fake offer for a certification exam by a guy that we're going to call pGomezL, who was the Principal from Bachillerato Tecnico No. 8. Now I realize he used me and treat me as his puppet. But I was committed. Committed with the students. Those students who called me teacher. And I do never give up, never. Neither when I had no money to go teach and asked to my mom for it. It was about commitment. I was commit to teach as best as i could, not even
if I had fake-hops for a CCNA Certification that never came. Some good day I got tired, and said "no more".

Then, I got a job teaching again on the INEA, which is a Education Institute that focuses on Teenagers and Adults that have no education. Payment was not good, but I felt good when a Dad came to me and said me "Thanks Teacher, now I can help my kid to search his homework on Internet and make a report on Microsoft Word". Was worth it. All about was commitment to my work, to teach everyone else.

Then, I got another job. Was my first job on another state. Was in Jalisco, for a company that works for HP. Was doing Testing for some software. Was commitment to the client. I was commitment to deliver a software without errors. Was good, but then, my thoughts were different that the ones of the company, actually was different from my boss'. Then I quit because I believe something was wrong. Maybe I was wrong but I stand for what I thought. It was commitment with myself.

Thru this times, a girl came. A girl now is far away from me, because I asked to do it. A girl I love a lot. A girl who hurt me. A girl for who I gave a lot, expecting nothing. A girl is now growing but thinks sometimes as a 15yo but some others like a 28yo. A girl who teach me that even people who love you, can hurt you, even if they don't intend to. That moment I was committed to give her all that was in my heart, but she didn't take it. She refused to give back what I was giving. Some guys said I gave too much, some other thinks I was brave. Some others say I was an idiot, but nothing matters except I thought that moment, because I was committed. I had the commitment to open myself expecting something a little back, but the commitment was needing two, and that conversation turns into a monologue, and in Love-Language that only ends in someone hurt. But I didn't failed, I was committed. Now, this girl is doing her way through life. She's brave enough to do it, but sometimes she needs to grow up, to be more mature. She didn't understand why I asked to be away from my life, I hope one day she understand my reason: she was hurting me.

Works passed by, then again I got a big job, this time on a Software Company here in Monterrey. Was new city, new place, a new fresh start. Then, a friend give me his hand when I was needed, gave me home and occasionally food. Was for nothing, we was committed to our friendship. Because nothing is more important than Family and Friendship.

Then I knew some new friends. Some friends I think are going to be with me a long part of my life. New starters as me, looking for a chance in the world. To build a life from it, to be someone, to be recognized, to be successful, to be someone. What make us be together is still under work. It's about real friendship, with nothing hide. Just friendship.

Now, I'm changing my work because I have a commitment with myself: be better. To grow up as far as I can. To be successful, to be someone. To feel good with myself. Now, I have a commitment with a company: to be a great engineer.

And ... how a simple word as "commitment" has made you change?